Xanga is down tonight…or at least my computer is having trouble loading it. So, I’ll have to write this offline and post it later.

I haven’t written for a while now, but have enjoyed getting daily updates from the blogs that I am subscribed to in my inbox each morning. Although I didn’t feel up to writing, it was comforting to read about others’ lives and happenings. If nothing else, by attempting to blog myself, I have found the sites of Godly women and have enjoyed their anonymous camaraderie. Anonymous camaraderie…an oxymoron, I know. Still, it is what popped into my head to describe the phenomenon of reading about other women’s lives through their blogs. Naturally, after time, one feels a kinship, a bond, and even a friendship with the writer that he has never met or perhaps even communicated with online. And so it is with the women whose blogs I read. May God grant us all encouragement in Him through these shared lives, though the ties between us are but tenuous computer cables and blinking monitors.

We are still struggling with the conflict at our church. My husband is suffering for the sake of the Gospel and we are encouraged by God’s promises. I told one friend today of the trouble and she prayed for me before we got off the phone. Even just being able to express all that has gone on to someone helped and she committed to bringing it before the Lord in prayer too, which was a comfort to my heart as well. My mom and sis (since they are states away, I felt okay with sharing with them what we are dealing with) have been encouraging too…. particularly my mom as she has reminded me of God’s sovereignty even in this, though I can’t see it now. Praise be to God for His faithful servants who come alongside us during difficult times.

That's all for now. I want to get the house more settled before Joe comes home from another late meeting. And perhaps I’ll get more sewing done on Joseph’s new Sunday outfit.

Yesterday, my husband and I realized that we have had a theme in our lives together—lizards! That’s right, creepy-crawly lizards! It seems that wherever we have lived over the past 4 years that we’ve been married, lizards have also lived side by side with us.
For our honeymoon, my honey whisked me away to a small Caribbean island called St. Barthelemy (or St. Bart’s as it is known to the swanky set that frequently visits there). It was beautiful and unlike anything that this relatively sheltered Southern girl had ever seen. We stayed in a cottage on the beach, with the ocean at our doorstep and enjoyed the saltwater breeze that blew in over the water. We jaunted around the island in a rented Jeep and spent lazy afternoons together on the beach. We were not, however, the only residents on our little plot of land. One could not step outside without running into one of the many long green iguanas that made their homes in the bushes around our cottage. They ranged in size from about 1 foot (the babies) to 3 or 4-foot adults, measured head to tail. We have a classic picture of my new hubby chasing one around the yard.
When we were in NC, we had a family of blue-tailed skinks that lived under our front porch. We would come home, disturbing their afternoon lounge in the sun, and watch as they scurried away to safety. (One spring, we also had a pair of sparrows that made a nest on our front porch. But that does not fit with my lizard theme, so I’ll save that for another day.)
Now that we are in MS, we have a new type of “lizard” keeping us company. I don’t really know what these are called—my mom says they are anoles, but I have never even heard that word before. They actually look like miniature versions of the iguanas that we saw on St. Bart’s (see, I can sound trendy and in the know too!). They are usually 4-6 inches long and either green or brown. Occasionally, I see one extending a red pouch under his chin in what I imagine is an attempt to look appealing to the lady lizards. They are remarkably fast and scurry around happily on our deck or through the trees in our yard. Today when we got home from the library, one leaped off of our garage door to the safety of the ground when it was startled to discover the door opening.
So, what is the deeper meaning of the lizards? Is God preparing me for bigger scarier creepy crawlies in some exotic missionary locale where He will call my husband? Or is it all simpler than that? Perhaps they are just lizards and just one more part of God’s creation for me to enjoy. Only He knows. In the meantime, I will enjoy my latest lizard buddies and hope that my next reptile neighbors won’t be these guys.

It is a tricky thing to be a wife. I want to honor my husband and give him the freedom to lead our family, but I don’t know how to do that in the day to day things of life. This week, Joe has had a lot of difficult things happen with the youth group—kids in trouble and parents upset. On the one hand, I want him to feel only support and encouragement from me so that he has a safe home to rely on. On the other hand, I disagree with some of the ways he handles things and want to tell him so. How can I balance those? I know it is possible with care, but too often my emotions overwhelm my good intentions. He also has been working so much that we have had too little time together and so I am not as tender towards him as I should be.

I just got interrupted while writing this by a phone call. My friend called at just the right time and I think it was an answer to prayer. I think that I need to take a step back and just be his wife. I need to be a bit removed from all of the controversy and just be on his side. I do love him and want him to know such support from home. I know that is the right thing now…why do I always have to get my opinion in there?

And as for one good lesson to come from all of this:

Note to self: When my boys are teenagers, realize that they are NOT perfect. If an adult says they did something wrong, deal with it with my sons. Don’t accuse the adult of not handling the situation right or of embarrassing my sons by pointing out they were wrong.

A few months back, we bought a double stroller, the Cosco Summit High Back Booster Car Seat w/LATCH, to help me be more portable with 2 boys (very convenient, btw). With Will out of the baby carrier car seat, it is even more tricky to go with 2 because he can't just drift off to sleep in his carrier and be seamlessly transferred from car to stroller.

Our adventure today involved a trip to the mall. After happily cocooning at home for so long, it was a harsh jolt to realize how long it had been since I had been shopping. I avoid it anyway because I am just not a shopper, but with trying to trim our budget recently and with Will's moodiness, I have just stayed home. I didn't realize it either until I tried to get out. Several shopping errands have descended on me all of the sudden. I need some new running shoes. I need a birthday present for my little sis. And I need a birthday present for Joseph's best friend Samuel's 2nd birthday party this weekend. We left the mall with none of those things and three tired and cranky people.

It is finally cooler here and so I guess that means I need to add one more thing(!) to my shopping list: warm clothes for the boys!

Speaking of one more thing, I just had to mention The Flylady. More to come about her, but I've been using some of her routines and plans now for about 2 months and it is a pretty good system. Her philosophies are a bit too self-centered for me, but her ideas are helpful.

One of the joys (and I do mean that literally) about being a mama of two small boys is that there is little time during the day to do superfluous things. Thus, though I was upset enough while watching last week’s presidential debate to yell at my TV, I haven’t had time to write about it until today. During that debate, I acted as a zealous football fan might act while watching his favorite team in the Super Bowl--the type of fan that shouts advice on how to play and berates the opposition for doing well. As if by his own sheer urgings, his team will win.

And so I was as I watched Kerry and Bush square off over domestic issues and trade barbs about voting records, energy plans, tax increases, and whose math is “fuzzy.” It had been a particularly busy day and so we only caught the last part. Still, it was enough to make me understand why those rabid football fans yell at their TV’s. With enough free time, I could write pages about my disagreements with Kerry and his woeful inadequacies as a senator, a leader, a president, and a person. But the main point that stood out to me was on the issue of abortion.

A young woman stood up and asked what each candidate would say to someone who was morally opposed to abortion and wanted assurance that her money would not go to support this practice which she found morally reprehensible. Kerry’s answer was so slippery, but the gist of it was so wrong. Underneath the niceties and vague attempts to not offend anyone, he basically said, “Tough luck. In a socialistic society, your money will support what you consider to be murder.” (Oh, but first he argued that one shouldn’t impose one’s morality on another! That is the most philosophically ridiculous statement! What about the laws punishing murder, theft, battery, etc.? How dare those laws impose morality on me!! He was just saying that only HIS morality—or lack thereof—is valid. The logical inconsistencies which he espouses so sincerely are truly shocking.)

I held my breath to hear how Bush would respond. Would he stand up against this evil or glaze over the issue in the hope that by not taking a stand he would not alienate people? His mediocre debating skills aside (I wanted him to point out Kerry’s lack of logic) he made his stand. In plain language, he said that we needed a culture of life in America, not abortion. I beamed with pride as my President (isn’t it nice to be able to be proud of our top leader?) was willing to stand alone for morality in a culture that praises relativism. He is not perfect by a long shot, but at that moment, I was proud of him.

It's rainy and gray here today. The kind of day perfect for lounging in bed all afternoon and doing nothing. I tried to do just that, and was greeted loudly about 5 minutes later by the hungry cries of Will. So much for a lazy snooze.
Tonight is the second presidential debate, but I think that I might skip it. Although I am dying to see GWB do his best, I need some hubby time with Joe too. We might have a debate "date" though, so we'll see.

I do hope that W will be able to clearly articulate his message. He has the right ideas, and I know that the people will support him if they get to see his passion for protecting America. Although, Kerry really tried to lambast Bush for the Iraq conflict because of the current situation there, it is easy to criticize after the fact. Having the intelligence information given him from the FBI and CIA, the support of valid allies (despite Kerry's dismissal of them as not being a "real" coalition), the fresh memories of 9/11, Gulf War I, etc. I don't see how anyone would've made a different decision than the difficult one that Bush made at the time. We were all shocked by the power and venom of the anti-American fervor of Al-Queda and needed to address the global threat of terrorism where ever it existed. Thankfully, we now know that Saddam was less of a threat than our intelligence originally thought. But anyone who questions the President's decision now is just as misguided as any Monday morning quarterback.

So this is my first entry...obviously. The concept of a blog has intrigued me for a long time, but I have only lurked around other sites until today. I am reticent about having one of my own for several reasons--the main one being that I'm not sure I have that much to say. Actually, that is not true. I have tons to say, I'm just not sure how it will all come out. I want to be articulate and interesting and I'm not sure I'm up to the task. I've recently read two blogs: http://www.alittlepregnant.com/alittlepregnant/2004/10/placenta_previa.html and http://www.thiswomanswork.com/ which I found because I read an article by Dawn who writes thiswomanswork and she linked Julie's. Both are incredicle writers, with wit, insight, bare confessions of deep thoughts, and plenty of time to write (or so it seems). I also disagree with 90% of what both write, but the way that they write is what is so daunting. I have neither Julie's acerbic drollness nor Dawn's polished philosophies. But, "ours is but to do and die" so here goes....