Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Sticks and Stones

Nothing like a kidney stone to knock one back a few paces! Mine was not very bad considering all of the horror stories that I have heard. It was not worse than childbirth. I had an outpatient procedure to blast it (lithotripsy) into smaller pieces and it worked. My recovery is continuing to be very slow. I still tire easily and look like death warmed over. (Where did that expression come from?)

But the stones are gone for now, and I am hoping that this will be my only bout with them. On the upside, we've reached the out-of-pocket limit on our medical insurance already and so the rest of the year is free! Time to get sick everyone!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Still trying to explain

Reading back over yesterday's post, I don't think that I explained what I am thinking very well.

I am learning to trust in who God is and in his character rather than in stability or my feelings. Even though I am not feeling like I am content in God's plans for me, I know that He loves me and has saved me. I know Who He is. I know the Gospel. And that is all I have. And though I don't feel like that is enough. It is.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

We had laughed at the over-abundant blessing on 4 Mississippi boys. When we talked about moving to Virginia, the one thing that they always said that they were looking forward to was....not being closer to family, not starting a new church, not going to a new school, not meeting new friends...but SNOW.
Umm, I think that they have gotten that wish now!

Seeing Him in shades of gray

I don't like to blog unless I have everything figured out and can answer my own questions and sooth my own doubts. I am a "type A". I like everything in its place. My world is black and white, with very little sympathy for subtle shades of gray. I don't want to express something until I have it all figured out. Thus the silence of this blog for the last 6 months.

I don't have the answers yet and I am still struggling. Still getting settle in a new place. Still downsizing. Still starting over. Still overwhelmed. Still tired.

But part of where the Lord is leading me right now is allowing me to "suffer" (not in the real and big sufferings that so many people face, just in the small daily things) and allowing my questions to linger. I am learning to be content in Him, in being reconciled to the Father through Christ, and in being fully loved as His daughter. In knowing His love for me. In trusting in His goodness towards me.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

On the road again

Where to start?

The problem with a personal blog is that once you stop writing, it is very hard to start again. There are gaps and much has happened and there is a pressure to try to fill in all of the details. I simply cannot.

So, what is left to say as I look back at the gaps of the past few months and try to catch up? Things are hard, and Jesus is enough. We have made sweet friends. We have moved (twice!). We still have not sold our house in Mississippi. The boys have started a school that they love. We have moved into a tiny house. We have fought. We have grown.

But most of all, we have been amazed that God loves and accepts us because Christ has reconciled us to him. I cannot believe that I am a daughter of God, love completely, and freed from my guilt and sin.