Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Letting go

I only got a little teary as we pulled away from the drop off line. While he could see me, I was all smiles and confidence.

"I wonder what you will learn today?"

"You are going to meet so many new friends!"

"I really like your teacher. She is nice."

My little man. Venturing into the world without me by his side.

My mind races back. Is this really the baby that I birthed at home so quickly and so quietly? He seems so very mine that I can't imagine sharing him. So much a part of me.

There is a part of me that wants to hold on. To enclose him. To protect. To shelter.

And yet to do so would be to forget my whole purpose.

I shelter in order to release. I hold tight in order to let go. I protect to allow him to grow strong. I mother in order to send out.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the sons of one’s youth. Psalm 127:4

Arrows to be shot out. Sent out. Launched.

My prayer for my boys is that they will be men who passionately love Jesus and work to see his kingdom come. Strong men. Bold men. Men with vision and and wisdom. What a gift to get to help launch them!


K said...

Hallie - Thank you for posting this - even if it was only for you. I'm friends with friends of yours from college and have kept up with your blog - but hadn't checked it in a year or so...and am sending out my 3 tomorrow for their first day of school (the youngest to Kindergarten and my first time ever in 9 1/2 years without a child at home). Praying continuously for them (and for me) - for God to be glorified in their lives, their friends' lives and their teachers' lives...thank you for writing this - I certainly needed it!

Hallie Holland said...

I need it too--glad that it resonated with you too!