Saturday, August 18, 2007

Good reading

I've found a few new blogs that I have been enjoying the past few days. The first is from Sara, who with her husband and daughter have downsized to a RV and are traveling the country, eating organic, locally grown food, avoiding consumerism, and generally living intentionally and "green." (She writes her story here.) While in many ways, we couldn't be more different (she has dredlocks and I'm growing my hair longer), she loves Christ. She writes on the notorious Proverbs 31 woman and I especially loved this part:
Bring Good, Not Harm

v. 11-12
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
v. 23
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

In the early days of my marriage, I decided that I would never speak harshly about my husband in the presence of others. Not even in jest. No matter how frustrated or annoyed I might be with a situation, it was between Matt, myself, and God. I didn’t run to my girlfriends, my co-workers, my mom, or the message boards. I spoke directly to Matt about my feelings and also to God. And in 7 years of marriage, we have never had a “fight” that lasted more than a few minutes. We never go to bed angry. I attribute those things largely to the fact that I focus on “bringing him good, not harm”. I don’t talk to others about our home life and let harsh feelings brew and brew all day.

Of course, it goes without saying that if you are in a verbally or physically abusive relationship, you must speak with someone about it. And if you and your spouse cannot get past certain issues, you may need counseling with a third party. But those interventions are very different than speaking with others about him and bringing him “down” in their eyes. Build him up! Help others to see him for the amazing man that he is.

1 comment:

Katie said...

Hallie, I love these thoughts too. My goal should always be to build up my husband (in his own eyes and in the eyes of others). Love that.