Good reading

I've found a few new blogs that I have been enjoying the past few days. The first is from Sara, who with her husband and daughter have downsized to a RV and are traveling the country, eating organic, locally grown food, avoiding consumerism, and generally living intentionally and "green." (She writes her story here.) While in many ways, we couldn't be more different (she has dredlocks and I'm growing my hair longer), she loves Christ. She writes on the notorious Proverbs 31 woman and I especially loved this part:

Bring Good, Not Harm

v. 11-12
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
v. 23
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

In the early days of my marriage, I decided that I would never speak harshly about my husband in the presence of others. Not even in jest. No matter how frustrated or annoyed I might be with a situation, it was between Matt, myself, and God. I didn’t run to my girlfriends, my co-workers, my mom, or the message boards. I spoke directly to Matt about my feelings and also to God. And in 7 years of marriage, we have never had a “fight” that lasted more than a few minutes. We never go to bed angry. I attribute those things largely to the fact that I focus on “bringing him good, not harm”. I don’t talk to others about our home life and let harsh feelings brew and brew all day.

Of course, it goes without saying that if you are in a verbally or physically abusive relationship, you must speak with someone about it. And if you and your spouse cannot get past certain issues, you may need counseling with a third party. But those interventions are very different than speaking with others about him and bringing him “down” in their eyes. Build him up! Help others to see him for the amazing man that he is.

Friday night

I've had a lot of thoughts swirling around the past few days, but none have made it all the way to blogging fruition.

Tonight has been a nice change of pace. Joe was here at home having some guy time with a friend from church, and I took Charlie to Wal-mart with me after the other boys were in bed. I never knew Wal-mart was such a hopping place on a Friday night at 9:00 (you know that you live in a small town with nothing to do when....)!

Sling

I gave up thinking that I'll make a wrap and ordered one this morning. I can't wait until it gets here! (thanks for the encouragement to do so, Katie!)

"Blameless before the presense of His glory"

We have family in town who have taken Joseph and Will out to lunch and so I am here with just my two little guys...as good a time as any to post a quick hello. I haven't posted in weeks: 1.) because I didn't have the time, and 2.) because I remember being taught, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." :) Charlie is an extremely fussy baby (colic maybe?) and there are many days when I have held him almost constantly to try to stem the never-ending crying. Most times holding (while walking and bouncing, with a pacifier in his mouth) would help. However, if he drifted off and I put him down he would wake up within 10 minutes screaming again. He would have times of happiness, an hour or two here or there when he would be normal--smiling, cooing, and being content. Most days, he would not nap consistently and would wake up crying when I could tell he was still so tired. He pulls up his legs, squirms, and grimaces which shows obviously that he is in pain.

We tried Axid for reflux since all of my babies have spit up a lot, but that didn't help. Yesterday, the dr. put him on some drops that are mild muscle relaxants that are supposed to help colicy babies. Today he has slept like a champ, but is running a low grade fever from getting shots yesterday and so I am unable to tell yet if the new meds will help. I'll know better in the next few days.

All of that is for explanation of both point 1 and 2 above. Obviously my time was (and still is) limited. But more than that, I just didn't have anything worthwhile to add to the blogosphere. I know that I don't intend to write "happy-happy, joy-joy" things all of the time, but I don't need to be writing from the "pit of despair" either.

God is good. All of the time. And He has a good and perfect plan in giving me Charlie, fussiness and all. My head knows that, but my heart was (is) still dealing with what that means, and I didn't want to write until I was more settled in that realization. Now again, I have to say that I realize that a fussy baby is such a small thing compared to what so many other people are going through. It is all-consuming for me though right now and it is the lesson that I am currently learning. What does it mean to live in the light of the Gospel in the middle of long days and short nights with a baby who constantly needs me and 3 other little ones who still need life to go on as usual? What does it mean to realize that God loved me enough not only to send Jesus to atone for my sin, but also to give me difficult circumstances in order to sanctify me? What does it mean to realize that how I respond to the thousand questions of my children or how I deal with their disobedience shows the state of MY soul? Am I patiently submitting to God's current calling on my life? Am I patient, kind, loving, joyful, gentle, self-controlled?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Ephesians 5:22-23

These days have shown me again and again how I am in need of Christ. I need the Holy Spirit to work His good fruit into my life. I need to fall down on my knees in awe at His sovereignty that includes giving fussy infants to sanctify self-centered mamas. I need, hourly, His blood to atone for my sins (because, oh, how quickly they show these days). And I need His strength.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

Many people understand this verse to say that God will not give us more than we can handle. I think, however, that I am given more than I can handle by myself. It is only in running to Christ and saying, "I can't do it and I need You," that He then comes and strengthens me to walk in the path He has laid out for me. The "way of escape" is the cross. It is realizing that I couldn't and still can't save myself. It is only through the blood of Jesus that I can stand before God and it is only through the blood of Jesus that I can live day by day.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

But you, beloved, build yourselves up in your most holy faith; pray in the Holy Spirit; keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life....Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. Jude 20-21, 24-25

On the market

We've signed the papers and our house is officially on the market. It is scary because we don;'t have a place to go. Our realtor told us this morning that the house (seen below) that we had looked at twice and were planning on as our back-up house got a contract on Saturday. It wasn't in the neighborhood by the church that we are hoping to get into, but it was a cute older house that had been fixed up nicely and it had a great yard. We won't accept a contract without giving ourselves some time before closing, and we're praying that God will provide a house for us in that time.

This is definitely a step of faith--moving from our much-loved space in the country to a smaller place in town. We know that God has a plan and are grateful to be following it through something as easy as a housing transition when others are following it through job loss, cancer, death, pain, and long term uncertainty. Pray that we will grow in our faith during this time as we follow where He leads.

Rainy Saturday

I haven't written much recently besides family updates because my brain just isn't at the capacity right now to think deeply. Not getting many continuous hours of sleep can do that. Katie had a short, but strong post yesterday that I have been mulling over though. Maybe when my brain clears I'll add my agreeing thoughts to hers.
We are putting our house on the market on Monday and we'll see what happens. Today we are cleaning like madmen.

Happy Independence Day!

Thinking about leaving this house has sweetened the time that we have here. Tonight after we got home from the prayer meeting (where Joe taught since the senior pastor is out of town and where our family made up more than half of the attenders), we had fireworks in the front yard. Now, when you are under 5, fireworks that consist of sparklers, Roman candles, and bottle rockets are top of the line because you don't know any better. And actually a smaller show was nice because I didn't have to worry about the little ones getting scared. Even timid David ran around with a sparkler by the end of the night--imitating his brothers and squealing with glee. A game of tag ensued after the fireworks. When I jumped out of my usual chair to join in for the last few minutes ("Mama is running!!!"), I realized that I had been pregnant for a long time--especially in the mind of my boys who probably don't remember Mama running. The game dissolved into chaos because everyone wanted to chase and tag Mama. And Will really hauls off and hits when he is "tagging." Ouch! A rousing good time for all!

At home

I'm home from church today with 2 sick children and one newborn. David and Will have a diarrhea bug and David has been running a high fever too.

I only fed Charlie once in the night last night! When he woke up at midnight, I was just too exhausted to get up and asked Joe to give him a pacifier and he went back to sleep. He woke up again at 2 and I fed him and then he held off until my usual wake-up of 6:30. I hope this is the start of a trend!

Saturday fun

After the boys went to sleep, Joe and I went out to poke around in the garden. It was my first trip since Charlie was born. Everything had really grown, including the weeds. We had a bountiful harvest and our first cantaloupes of the season. I need to learn how to make something with tomatoes--spaghetti sauce, tomato sauce, or just canned tomatoes because we are going to have so many tomatoes! Any suggestions?

This morning, we also got to see the inside of one of the houses that we are considering. It is less than 2 minutes from church, but they are asking way more than it is worth.My littlest man after his bath tonight.

Fried Green Tomatoes

We must be turning into Mississippians. Last night's supper was catfish, pasta salad, and fried green tomatoes. Our garden is in a lull right now and so when we looked for something to have as a side last night Joe said, "Well, we have a lot of green tomatoes." The fried green tomatoes actually turned out pretty well for my first try. The recipe was from The Joy of Cooking and called for some fresh parsley and thyme in the flour dredge. I thought they were delicious, but Joe and the boys weren't as enthusiastic.

The coloring in the picture didn't turn out very well, but you can get the general idea.

"You had the baby!"

I had my first trip to Wal-mart today, but with only Charlie and David instead of all 4 boys. Joseph and Will played at Mrs. J.'s house and had a grand time while I shopped. I got to show Charlie off to all of the workers who we have gotten to know from our weekly shopping trips. Being hugely pregnant and shopping faithfully every Wednesday morning with 3 young children in tow makes me an easy person to remember, I suppose. :) I had trouble finding room in my cart for the groceries with David up front in the child seat and Charlie in the back in his carrier. I overdid it too and was exhausted afterwards. It was lifting the 50 lb. bag of dog food that finally was just too much.

Joe and I have been talking some recently about downsizing and we actually went and looked at some houses yesterday. We have been thinking about buying a smaller (cheaper) house and paying for it completely rather than keeping this big house with a mortgage. It is definitely appealing to think of being 100% debt free ("Freedom!!!!"), but we really love our land. I am not attached to this house, but I love the yard. Joe did mention today how much more free time we would have if we didn't have to keep up with the yard though....

Anyway, it is an interesting discussion and it gets to the core of what we are going to value as a family. Land or being debt free? Being able to save now to free us up for future ministry or paying on a mortgage? Living in 1600 or 3200 sq ft? Having the huge yard and driveway for the boys or the usual backyard play area? We'll see where God leads.

Lastly, here is a picture of Charlie from today. He's just under 10 lbs now and doing great!

Confidential to the aunts: The "teenager" is back and banging against my living room window again!

Home alone

....well, not really. David and Charlie are here with me. Joe, Will, and Joseph have gone to church for prayer meeting and an ice cream social afterwards. Charlie had slept for most of the late afternoon and has been crying for the last 45 minutes. He is finally settled (for the moment, at least) and in my lap contented.

I am home alone in that my last visitor/helper left today. Meg, my little sister, left this morning after lunch. She was invaluable the past few days in caring for the older boys leaving me free to tend to Charlie and the house (and she vacuumed for me--always a way to make me happy). The boys loved the extra attention and having a new person to play with. I am so grateful that she was willing to give herself and her time to serve us (thanks, Meg!).

I must admit, however, that it is good to be just "us" again. The boys need more consistency, and we need to figure out our new normal as a family of 6. As I pulled a load of laundry from the dryer, I realized that I even enjoy the simple responsibility of providing clean clothes for my family. For a "doer," 2 weeks of inactivity is hard! I am glad to be up and about again.

Tuesday

Meg has been here since Sunday helping out and she is getting the full experience. I just sent her to Wal-mart with Joseph and Will...and a grocery list...and it started pouring just after they left. :) Do you think she'll survive? And even more importantly, will she still be smiling when she gets home? Seriously though, she has been a huge help. She has taken care of the boys full-time allowing me a bit more time to rest before I am on my own.

Melinda is coming this afternoon for a 2 week follow-up visit. It will be fun to see how Charlie has grown.

The birth of Charles Edward

All of my previous labors have been 12+ hours long and so when people asked, "What if the midwife doesn't get there in time?" I would laugh and say, "Well, that would mean I was in labor for less than 2 hours and that sounds great to me!" And then I'd reassure them that I have lengthy labors and don't have to even worry about it. My cousin just had her second baby, and I had commented that I envied her short, albeit a bit harried labor. This experience with long labors was even what led to my idea to live blog the labor--I mean, when it lasts for so long, there are lulls and I was going to need something to do, right?

Well, Charlie (and the Lord) had different plans for this birth. Monday must have been my energy surge day, though I didn't realize it at the time. Sunday night, I had been awakened at night by relatively painless, but definitely intense contractions that came every 15 minutes or so all night long. I was sure that I'd be in labor by morning, but the contractions petered out as I got going for the day. I brought the boys to Bible School and then visited with friends and played with David at church for a while. I ran to the grocery story and got some meat for supper, ran home to put the groceries away, and got the boys from Bible School. The afternoon was normal--naps, playing outside, supper, bedtime.

Monday night the contractions started again and went from 12:00 to 5:00 again about every 15 minutes, but this time they hurt! I would wake up at the peak of the contraction from a deep sleep. Surely this was the start of labor. But again, they stopped the next morning. On Tuesday I was in a bad mood. I hadn't slept well (I was having contractions all night) and I just didn't feel good. I dropped the boys at Bible School again and came home because I was grumpy and wanted to rest. When Joe got home that afternoon from work, I insisted that we finish up preparations for the birth. I even wanted to put the boys' overnight bags by the front door and get out the pack-n-play. He thought I was a bit over zealous, but joined in the preparations. (Remember, at this point, I had been telling him for 2 days that I felt like I was going into labor and I hadn't.)

Sometime around 4:00 I had a contraction that was different. It is just like everyone says, when you are in labor, suddenly you just know. And I knew. I told Joe and after 2 more contractions, called Melinda, my midwife. I told her that I was in labor and she should head this way. I told her I was having contractions every 8-12 minutes, but that these were real. Thankfully, she didn't ask how long I had been having contractions because I would've had to tell her that I had only had 3. Later she told me that she knew by my voice that this was it. She said that she was already in her car and would just continue on to my house. 2 hours and she would be here.

At this point, I went outside and told Joe that I wanted him to believe me that I was really in labor. He still wasn't convinced. :) I managed to make calls to friends to come and get the boys between contractions. I called Mama and told her I was in labor. After that, I just had to focus on staying on top of the contractions. When my friend Angie came to pick up David and Joseph, she came and prayed with me and I knew that things were moving very quickly. I had sat down on my bed to pray with Angie came and now realized that if I moved at all another contraction came right away and the intensity was just too much. So, I stayed in the exact same position sitting on the side of my bed.

After the boys left, Joe gathered a few things that we still needed to have and brought them back to our room. I was so glad that he was there and that the boys were gone because I needed to concentrate. A little while after that, I got nauseous and threw up the yogurt and juice that I had eaten to give me a little strength. Joe told me later that it wasn't until I threw up that he actually believed that I was in labor! Around 5:45, the contractions were coming every 4 minutes and were very strong. Joe called to check on Melinda and she said she was a half an hour away. I remember thinking that I wasn't sure I would make it until then, but really didn't want to deliver until she came because it would worry Joe so much. So, I didn't move and anxiously watched the clock.

Melinda arrive promptly at 6:15 and pronounced me at an 8. She set up her things and was so quiet and unobtrusive as she got everything ready. She listened to the baby's heart tones on her handheld Doppler (like the ones you all have seen the OB use during office visits) and he sounded great. There were two times during the next hour that she listened to the baby the whole time during and after a contraction to be sure that he was handling them well. It was painful, but I knew that she needed to do it.

At this point, I was resting on pillows on the bed and Joe would apply counter pressure to my lower back during contractions. Poor guy, his arm fell asleep, but I needed him right there during every contraction and he was. I threw up again and contractions spaced out a bit as I went through transition. My water broke at the peak of a contraction and soon I started pushing. I only pushed for 10 minutes and he was born at 7:50. He was born with the cord loosely around his neck and also wrapped around his body. He also had his hand by the side of his head (a favorite position even now) as he was born. As soon as he was placed on my stomach, Joe peaked and announced that he was "a boy!" I held him briefly and then the post-delivery shakes that I get after each birth started and so Joe held Charlie. I was so cold and eventually warmed up after they covered me with some dryer-warmed blankets.

Melinda examined Charlie and weighed and measured him. I rested for a while and Melinda cleaned up, packed her supplies, and started some laundry while Joe held Charlie. After 3 failed attempts (I was too dizzy at first) I finally made it to the bathroom for a very comfy bath. After I was back in bed, Melinda checked to be sure that we were comfortable and felt ready to have her leave and gave a few more instructions. Then she left and we were alone.

I told Melinda before she left that it was the birth that I had always wanted to have. It truly was. I was so glad to be at home and in control. It was a very relaxed and comfortable labor (if labor can be relaxing) and there was just a peacefulness about the whole thing. It was....simple.

I am so thankful for God's protection of me and little Charlie and so grateful that he is here!!!

Overheard

"Mama, if Charlie is out of your tummy, why is it still so big?"

....Nothing like a 4 year old to keep you humble.



"And now that Charlie is here you can RUN with us again!"

....and thankful for the enthusiasm of little boys.

First news

I want to start on this post, although things might get too busy for me to finish it right now. Joe is currently upstairs getting the older boys ready for bed and Charlie is sleeping in his infant carrier in the kitchen while my mom is doing dishes. Mama leaves tomorrow and we are sorely going to miss her! She told me before she came that she never feels like she does anything when she comes after a new baby is born....I don't think that will be her impression after this trip. As I mentioned earlier, I have had a slower recovery with this birth and so Mama has done everything--watching the children, keeping up the house (and cleaning it from top to bottom to make up for my negligence the last weeks of pregnancy), doing all of the cooking, AND waiting on me hand and foot. I have been able to completely rest this week save for the care of Charlie, and I've even had help with him. I have my third follow-up visit with my midwife next Tuesday and hopefully after that I'll be cleared to do normal stuff.

Charlie is a sweet baby. He has done well most nights and has already gone down from 3 to 2 night time feedings. If I can get one little nap during the day I am able to do the night time feedings without bothering Joe. (One night after I hadn't had a nap in 2 days, I slept through some of Charlie's fussing and had a rough time being awake to feed
him).

The boys LOVE Charlie and this has been so nice. Even David, who tends to be the most temperamental and possessive, oohs and ahhs over him and chatters and laughs at him. Joseph and Will both love holding Charlie and can barely resist patting him each time they see him (even when he is napping or nursing--we're working on that). My mom has been so great about entertaining the boys and helping them hold and see Charlie.

Joe has been working tirelessly, as he always does. Daddy duties and pastoral duties plus lots of my usual duties. I am looking forward to being better so that I can take some of the load from him. I am so grateful to have such a hard working and thoughtful husband.

Here is a picture of me and my little man from a few days ago. Pay no attention to my pale skin and sleepy eyes. They just come with the territory. :)

Quick update

I have been dreadfully negligent in blogging and just wanted to post a little hello. My recovery is going well, but is a lot slower with this little one. I can't wait to get back online and tell about the very fast labor and the first days with Charlie. But for now, know that all is well and I'll be back soon.
Joe is posting new photos on our flickr, so you can see our little man there.

Pics of Charlie on flickr

You can find subsequent new pictures of Charlie at our family flickr album.

Joe

Charlie at 12 hours old

I know, I know, everyone wants to see pictures. They will be forthcoming in abundance. Here is the first one of Charlie this morning, some 12 hours after birth.

Both Hallie and Charlie are currently taking a well deserved nap.

Joe

Charlie

Hallie had the best of intentions of live-blogging our birth. But those intentions were counting on a long labor. The Lord had different plans.

Charles Edward Holland was born last night at 7:50 pm. He is beautiful. He is 7 lbs 3 ozs, 19 inches. He and Hallie are doing fantastic.

I'm sure Hallie will update you more when she feels up to it.

Joe

Ice cream social, Holland style

We had chocolate ice cream on cake cones for dessert tonight, which was the incentive to get the boys to eat a less than favorite dinner. We had marinated grilled top round steak, grilled squash with herbs, and some leftover Mexican salad from today's Bible school lunch. They are not huge fans of squash and certainly weren't fond of the herbs--garlic, oregano, and a bit of mint--so good! And they never are good salad eaters. However, whenever they know a good dessert is coming, it is amazing what they will eat. They enjoyed their cones immensely, as you can see, and were then shepherded off to baths. I should have taken an after picture too.

Bible School!

It is Bible School week at our little church and we have spent a fun morning getting caught up in all of the festivities. William got to join Joseph's class (even though he's too young they said he could come, which was so nice) and both boys were exhausted when I got them home. David and I hung out in the nursery visiting with friends most of the morning and then ran to the grocery store before going back to church for lunch.

Right now, everyone is sleeping and I'm eating chocolate ice cream and enjoying the quiet. I need to do a bit of cleaning before the boys wake up, so I'd better go. I'm going to try to get Joe to get a 39 weeks picture for me later tonight.

BTW, does it count as nesting if the reason that I am cleaning is because I know that "nesting" indicates impending labor and I want to be in labor?

Sunday afternoon

As much as I am eager to have this baby, Joe says (and wisely so) that it would be much better to wait until next weekend when my mom is here. The baby seems to be on his side sadly. I had a fine, but short nap and we are all up and about. Time to get the boys outside to run off some pent up energy.

Checking in

I suppose one can't live blog a birth without at least a few false alarms and so risking that I will mention that I might be in early labor. Time will tell over the next day or so. At any rate, I'm going to take a nap and Joe is going to enjoy a peaceful household with everyone sleeping.

Live blogging

Just wanted to mention that I am considering "live blogging" the birth of our little one. If you haven't heard of the concept, it just means that I (and Joe) would periodically post updates throughout the day or night. (Now remember, we have dial-up, so it won't be much.)

I've read two other live blogged births and loved knowing what was going on. One of my favorites is from a great site that I subscribe to--girltalk. They recently live blogged the birth of Nicole's daughter Tori and had previously chronicled Janelle's birth of Callie.

So anyway, we'll see if I'm really up to it at the time, but right now that's the plan!

First fruits

Yes, that's right, we're enjoying the first "fruits" of our vegetable garden. Yesterday, we had squash and today Joe and the boys picked several meals of beans. Even Joseph tried to eat his beans at dinner tonight since he said, "I picked that one." David loves green beans and ate his happily--both this afternoon, uncooked, while I was snapping them and tonight at supper.

Joe also fertilized everything and planted a few more tomato plants. We have aphids pretty badly and are going to have to spray soon.

38 weeks

Much to the surprise of the greeter at Wal-Mart, I still have 2 weeks to go. Here is a picture from tonight--one of 2 taken by my dear hubby as opposed to the 40 that I took of myself last time before I got it right.

Sunday Hymn

Joe preached this morning in Lewisville, MS at a historic church built in the 1850s. The building was beautiful, as was the fellowship with the saints there.
Returning to our home church this evening, we sang the following hymn--one of Joe's favorites from our time at FPC in Jackson. You'll recognize the final stanza as what we commonly sing as the doxology, but the whole song is instructive and a fine evening hymn of the church.

All Praise to Thee, my God, this night
by Thomas Ken

All praise to Thee, my God, this night,
For all the blessings of the light!
Keep me, O keep me, King of kings,
Beneath Thine own almighty wings.

Forgive me, Lord, for Thy dear Son,
The ill that I this day have done,
That with the world, myself, and Thee,
I, ere I sleep, at peace may be.

Teach me to live, that I may dread
The grave as little as my bed.
Teach me to die, that so I may
Rise glorious at the judgment day.

O may my soul on Thee repose,
And with sweet sleep mine eyelids close,
Sleep that may me more vigorous make
To serve my God when I awake.

When in the night I sleepless lie,
My soul with heavenly thoughts supply;
Let no ill dreams disturb my rest,
No powers of darkness me molest.

O when shall I, in endless day,
For ever chase dark sleep away,
And hymns divine with angels sing,
All praise to thee, eternal King?

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

Sunday Hymn

Take My Life and Let it Be
by Frances R. Havergal

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

Bits and pieces

Still struggling with issues at church, but we have already seen God's goodness, mercy, and unexpected work.

On the pregnancy front, I was marveling at how good I felt last week and this week is another story, unfortunately. But, we are in the final stretch now and that is exciting!

Will and I traveled to Jackson yesterday for an appointment with an orthopedist about his legs. For now, the dr. just suggested getting him some good support shoes and so I ordered some New Balances for him this morning. We'll see if that seems to help.

Edited to add (thanks, Katie): Oops, forgot that I hadn't written about Will yet. What I first noticed about a month ago was that one of his knees seemed to bend in when he was standing. He also started falling and hurting his knees--talking about them bending or poppping--and then he would limp badly or refuse to walk (which means it was significant pain; he's usually pretty rough and tumble). Children are naturally "knock-knee-ed" (even the dr. used this term) and then grow out of it, but Will is more than normally so. The orthopedist said that he also had pronated feet and that his hips rotated in too. All of these things are connected and interrelated, and that is what the shoes are supposed to help. The dr. said he also might have a problem with his meniscus, but couldn't tell for sure.

We are generally a Keds-in-the-winter, plain, brown leather buckle sandals-in-the-summer sort of family, and so it would be nice if some more supportive shoes would help. The problem is (as I found out while shopping today online) not many small kids shoes come with the kinds of support and stability that will help. Anything under a size 10.5 in New Balance is an infant shoe with nothing fancy about it. In recommending that we buy Will some New Balance shoes, I think that the dr. was thinking about how you can find great adult shoes with stability features as he wears NB himself. And I bet he often recommends them to his adult patients as a first step in trying to help.

My MIL and SIL are coming for the weekend and I am working today to try to get some extra meals in the freezer for when the baby comes. I have a few now and I know that I will wish I had many more!

We still haven't made final determinations for a name for this little one. We're pretty settled on our girl's name since we've had it for 4 years, but are still wavering on a boy's name. We are thinking about doing a non-family name, but aren't sure since the other boys all have family names for people that we love and admire. I guess we'd better talk about it more and soon!

Car seats and 911

Today I faced the extreme of an issue that has bothered me time and time again since we moved to Mississippi. The boys and I were waiting in the car for Joe while he was in the movie store picking out a "man movie" after a very strenuous day of manual labor all day Saturday. The small sedan next two me had 5 small children ages 3-6 in the back seat and an adult in the passenger seat. Then, the other adult returned to the car with 2 more children! One of whom became #6 in the back and the other who sat in the driver's seat with the driver. It was at this point that I was itching to call the police, but waited for Joe to get back to double check with him. (Sometimes I am more gung-ho about these things than he would want me to be).

He said it was fine if I called and so we drove a few aisles away, took down the cars make, model, and license plate, and parked to call the police. Imagine my surprise upon dialing 911 when I got a message saying that this number could not be dialed from this phone!

I had always assumed that even though we live in a small town, the cellular service would be linked locally to allow the use of 911, but that does not seem to be so. Joe is going to call on Monday to figure this out and in the meantime we are going to program his phone with the appropriate numbers. So, I pass this on as a caution...check to see what your cellular company's policy is on 911 and find out if it will work for you. Fortunately, we learned about all of this in a non-emergency situation.

As for the seven small children not even buckled in, I hope they were okay. And I'm sure that I'll have many more opportunities to be a concerned citizen in the future.

35 weeks and counting

I just spent a ridiculous amount of my boys' nap time trying to snap a cute pregnant picture of myself. Adjusting angles, flash or no flash, how much to zoom, and the addition of a little make-up--I finally found one that I am comfortable posting for all to see. :)

And to pre-answer the obvious comments (that I have heard a time or two at church or Wal-mart)
....yes, I do carry my babies "all in front"
....no, it is not a basketball under my shirt.
....yes, the baby is very low.
....yes, I do realize that I look like I am about to pop.
....I have 5 more weeks to go!
....yes, I will actually get bigger between now and then.
....and finally, I feel great...which means it is probably going to be 5 weeks.

Sunday Hymn

This evening, we had Communion at church and sang this as the preparatory song. (Although only verses 1, 2, and 6 are included in our hymnal, not the original 11.)

O Sacred Head, Now Wounded
by Ber­nard of Clair­vaux

O sacred Head, now wounded, with grief and shame weighed down,
Now scornfully surrounded with thorns, Thine only crown;
O sacred Head, what glory, what bliss till now was Thine!
Yet, though despised and gory, I joy to call Thee mine.

What Thou, my Lord, hast suffered, was all for sinners’ gain;
Mine, mine was the transgression, but Thine the deadly pain.
Lo, here I fall, my Savior! ’Tis I deserve Thy place;
Look on me with Thy favor, vouchsafe to me Thy grace.

Men mock and taunt and jeer Thee, Thou noble countenance,
Though mighty worlds shall fear Thee and flee before Thy glance.
How art thou pale with anguish, with sore abuse and scorn!
How doth Thy visage languish that once was bright as morn!

Now from Thy cheeks has vanished their color once so fair;
From Thy red lips is banished the splendor that was there.
Grim death, with cruel rigor, hath robbed Thee of Thy life;
Thus Thou hast lost Thy vigor, Thy strength in this sad strife.

My burden in Thy Passion, Lord, Thou hast borne for me,
For it was my transgression which brought this woe on Thee.
I cast me down before Thee, wrath were my rightful lot;
Have mercy, I implore Thee; Redeemer, spurn me not!

What language shall I borrow to thank Thee, dearest friend,
For this Thy dying sorrow, Thy pity without end?
O make me Thine forever, and should I fainting be,
Lord, let me never, never outlive my love to Thee.

My Shepherd, now receive me; my Guardian, own me Thine.
Great blessings Thou didst give me, O source of gifts divine.
Thy lips have often fed me with words of truth and love;
Thy Spirit oft hath led me to heavenly joys above.

Here I will stand beside Thee, from Thee I will not part;
O Savior, do not chide me! When breaks Thy loving heart,
When soul and body languish in death’s cold, cruel grasp,
Then, in Thy deepest anguish, Thee in mine arms I’ll clasp.

The joy can never be spoken, above all joys beside,
When in Thy body broken I thus with safety hide.
O Lord of Life, desiring Thy glory now to see,
Beside Thy cross expiring, I’d breathe my soul to Thee.

My Savior, be Thou near me when death is at my door;
Then let Thy presence cheer me, forsake me nevermore!
When soul and body languish, oh, leave me not alone,
But take away mine anguish by virtue of Thine own!

Be Thou my consolation, my shield when I must die;
Remind me of Thy passion when my last hour draws nigh.
Mine eyes shall then behold Thee, upon Thy cross shall dwell,
My heart by faith enfolds Thee. Who dieth thus dies well.

Sunday Hymn

My Jesus, I Love Thee by William Featherston

My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine;
For Thee all the follies of sin I resign.
My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

I love Thee because Thou has first loved me,
And purchased my pardon on Calvary’s tree.
I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

I’ll love Thee in life, I will love Thee in death,
And praise Thee as long as Thou lendest me breath;
And say when the death dew lies cold on my brow,
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

In mansions of glory and endless delight,
I’ll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright;
I’ll sing with the glittering crown on my brow;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

Recent Happenings

We celebrated William's third birthday yesterday. Joe was off and so we had a family day of housework and yard work while the boys enjoyed playing with Will's new toys. Then, we had a family from down the street over for pizza, salad, and birthday cake!

Afterwards, we went "downtown" to the square for the opening night of the Natchez Trace Festival which had the usual offerings: chicken on a stick, gyros, funnel cakes, slushies, arts and crafts, and deep fried anything (oreos, dill pickles, etc.). And we wonder why Mississippi is the fattest state?! The highlight of the night was when we sat on a hill overlooking Gasoline Alley, which is where the motorcycle rally was held this morning. There were 2 teenagers there early though who zipped up and down the street performing wheelies, doing other tricks, and revving their engines. My boys were impressed!


I've also been enjoying my rose bush, which just started blooming this week. It is really healthy (no thanks to anything that I've done since I know almost nothing about roses) and is producing abundantly. Here is a bouquet that I put on my bedside table (yep, that's the one that we got as part of the free mahogany bedroom suite from Craigslist). When I am resting sometimes I catch a whiff of their gentle sweetness--very relaxing.


Lastly, can you stand more about my bagels? I am just so pleased with how they are turning out these days. Here's the tray I made for lunch: poppy seed, sesame seed, and an Italian bagel topping of oregano and garlic. So good!

"Goodbye, Daddy!"

This morning, I sent the camera with Joe as he was leaving for work. He captured a few pictures of his farewell committee, which has recently gained a new member. You can barely see David at the top of the driveway.

It is a pretty long trip to the mailbox at the end of the driveway where the boys stop to wave goodbye to Joe each morning. If you look very closely, you can see me waiting by the house to be sure that David comes back to finish his breakfast rather than taking a trip down the gravel road. They love it though and sometimes they meet him there again when he comes home in the afternoons. They love their Daddy!

Bagel recipe

Easy Homemade Bagels

Makes 12 large bagels.

2 t. brown sugar
1 ½ t. salt
1 ½ c. warm water (cold if to rise overnight)
2 ¼ c. white flour (+ or – a bit)
1 c. whole wheat (I use freshly ground, sometimes I use all white flower too though)
1 T yeast

Set to dough cycle, but take dough out after mixing (they don't need to rise). Divide the dough into 2 equal parts. Then, divide each part equally again. Finally, divide these parts into 3 equal parts. You should have 12 small balls of dough. Roll them between your hands a bit for uniform smoothness, flatten them a little, and place them on the counter.

Take the handle end of a knife and press it through the middle of each bagel to make a hole. Stretch each hole out (gently) to a diameter of about 2 inches, keeping the overall shape of the bagel smooth.

Drop the bagels one at a time into a small frying pan of boiling water. After a few seconds (about 3), flip. Leave in for another 3 seconds and then put the bagel on a kitchen towel to dry a bit. If you leave them in the boiling water for too long, they won't rise as much and you'll get a thicker “rind” on the bagel. Once you have boiled all of the bagels, you can dip each bagel bottom into cornmeal if desired. Place on a greased cookie sheet.

Now take an egg white mixed with 1 t. of water and brush the tops of the bagels (I don't always do this). At this point you can sprinkle with sesame seeds, poppy seeds, or other toppings, if desired. No need to let these rise! Just put in a preheated 425 degree oven for 15 minutes. That's it!

(This is a recipe that I altered from an original found at Laine's letters.) http://lainesletters.com/recipe/bagels.html)

Bagel lessons (I know you didn't ask, but I have to tell!)

To fully understand this quest, you would have to know that I went to college in Charlottesville, Va, home of Bodo's Bagels, and that I spent most of my eating out money in college at Bodo's. Bodo's is one of those local hot spots that is always packed, no matter the time of day simply because they serve good food. Nothing too trendy (although they offer lox, bean sprouts, and tofu--it is a college town and more people naturally eat more healthy things), but always fresh, delicious bagels. There were 2 stores in Charlottesville during the time that I was there and they were owned by one man; it wasn't a chain. I've tried several other chain bagel stores since leaving Cville, but nothing even comes close. (Now if any of you are reading this from the Northeast, home of the bagel, I will have to concede that I haven't traveled to the Northeast. But I am willing to wager that Bodo's would stand side by side with the best NY bagel out there).

I normally make bagels for our family once a week--usually for lunch on Thursday or Saturday. Joe makes his into a sandwich, both older boys like theirs with cream cheese, and David and I prefer plain and simple--hot out of the oven with warm butter melted on top. I recently altered my recipe to make 12 instead of 8 bagels to keep up with the appetites around here. They still mix nicely in my bread machine and fit on one cookie sheet for baking.

This morning, I changed a few things about how I make bagels and am so pleased with the results! Tammy's Recipes had a very complicated bagel recipe that overwhelmed me but produced beautiful bagels (it required several timed rises and many more steps than my easy recipe). Intrigued by how nice her bagels looked, I tweaked my process a bit, keeping the simplicity but adding a few new ideas.

The main change that I am happy with is that her recipe recommends forming the dough into a smooth ball and then making a hole in the middle and stretching the dough into bagel shape. This is so much better than my old method of cutting the dough into strips and trying to connect the ends to make a ring shape. No matter how I tried to smooth the dough, my old way always ended up looking misshapen. Today, my bagels came out looking....well, like a bagel should!

Reading the recipe on Tammy's site also showed me how to fix the problem of having too thick a rind on the bottom of my bagels. Today, after boiling the bagels, I laid them briefly on a kitchen towel to dry before I transferred them to the baking sheet. Having no puddles of water under the bagels lets them cook more evenly and prevents the hard crusty bottoms that my bagels used to have.

The last thing that Tammy's site encouraged me to do is to try toppings. This morning I made 6 plain and 6 poppy seed bagels. We used them to make egg and cheese bagel sandwiches for breakfast. Yum! I'll post my updated recipe soon.

Easy make-ahead breakfast

One of the staple breakfasts that I serve is a make-ahead French Toast casserole (scroll down a little) that is easy and delicious. I used to half the recipe and that cut the cooking time to about 30 minutes. Now that the boys are eating more, I make 2/3 of the recipe and it does take the full 45 minutes to cook because of the deep casserole that I put it in. So, it is a very flexible recipe and very tasty. A great recipe to serve to guests because you can do all of the work the night before. (Just in case you want to try it, here's one more tip: I usually add double the amount of sugar that the recipe calls for and also serve it with maple syrup. We like our French toast to be sweet!)

This morning, we had it with fresh strawberries on top and it was amazing. I don't think we'll eat it again without fruit on top after how good it was! I prepared the strawberries the way I remember seeing my mom doing it growing up.

1. Cut the strawberries into small pieces. The more tart the strawberries are, the smaller you should cut them.

2. Add sugar to taste.

3. Using the back of a spoon, crush the strawberries against the side of the bowl. Stir and crush for a few minutes.

4. If time allows, let them sit on the counter for a while to give the berries time to mix with the sugar and release their syrupy goodness.

This is also the way that I make strawberries for strawberry shortcake. The sugar (even if you only use a little) and the crushing make a nice syrup or juice that soaks into the shortcake.

Read it

The blogger that I have read the longest and one of my constant favorites is "back" with a great post today.

"HIgh times, hard times"

It seems that when things happen in real life that my blog is the first thing to go. Many times what is going on is church-related and so I am unable to write about it, even if I wanted to. Also, one has to process something to be able to write about it and that just takes time. Such has been the situation here with me recently. Hard things going on in church. Nothing has been resolved, and Joe and I are working through how to deal with it.

I had a conversation with a friend in real life who had found my blog. She expressed feeling inadequate because I am so together! Hee, hee....she must've not been reading long, huh? Anyway, lest anyone else out there hold that mistaken impression, rest assured that I am a sinner just like each of you. I find similarities between myself and Katie in Prentisss's Stepping Heavenward who admits that, "you knew I had faults...I never tried to conceal them" because my besetting sins are so visible and outward. While it is my goal to become more and more Christ-like, I have so far to go and it is painfully obvious to any who observe me! As for the glimpses of our domestic life that I record here, they are just glimpses. I have much to learn in this area too. I am not Martha Stewart, only a bumbling servant of the King who is trying to make our home a haven that honors Him and that nurtures my dear family and those that visit here.

Sunday Hymn

On this glorious day, I have to put two hymns. Both are personal favorites and the second has been on repeat in the minivan all week as the boys have been learning it and requesting it. May the Lord grant to you joy in Him as we remember his victory over sin and death.


Thine is the Glory
by Edmond L. Budry

Thine is the glory, risen, conqu’ring Son;
Endless is the victory, Thou o’er death hast won;
Angels in bright raiment rolled the stone away,
Kept the folded grave clothes where Thy body lay.

Refrain

Thine is the glory, risen conqu’ring Son,
Endless is the vict’ry, Thou o’er death hast won.

Lo! Jesus meets us, risen from the tomb;
Lovingly He greets us, scatters fear and gloom;
Let the church with gladness, hymns of triumph sing;
For her Lord now liveth, death hath lost its sting.

Refrain

No more we doubt Thee, glorious Prince of life;
Life is naught without Thee; aid us in our strife;
Make us more than conqu’rors, through Thy deathless love:
Bring us safe through Jordan to Thy home above.

Refrain

Christ the Lord is Risen Today
By Charles Wesley

Christ, the Lord, is risen today, Alleluia!
Sons of men and angels say, Alleluia!
Raise your joys and triumphs high, Alleluia!
Sing, ye heavens, and earth, reply, Alleluia!

Love’s redeeming work is done, Alleluia!
Fought the fight, the battle won, Alleluia!
Lo! the Sun’s eclipse is over, Alleluia!
Lo! He sets in blood no more, Alleluia!

Vain the stone, the watch, the seal, Alleluia!
Christ hath burst the gates of hell, Alleluia!
Death in vain forbids His rise, Alleluia!
Christ hath opened paradise, Alleluia!

Lives again our glorious King, Alleluia!
Where, O death, is now thy sting? Alleluia!
Once He died our souls to save, Alleluia!
Where thy victory, O grave? Alleluia!

Soar we now where Christ hath led, Alleluia!
Following our exalted Head, Alleluia!
Made like Him, like Him we rise, Alleluia!
Ours the cross, the grave, the skies, Alleluia!

Hail, the Lord of earth and Heaven, Alleluia!
Praise to Thee by both be given, Alleluia!
Thee we greet triumphant now, Alleluia!
Hail, the resurrection, thou, Alleluia!

Day off

Joe took Monday off in anticipation of the busyness of the next few weeks, and we went up the Natchez Trace about 25 minutes to French Camp, MS where spent the morning wandering around. It was a beautiful day and everything was brilliantly green after the steady rain we had gotten the past weekend. We “hiked” a bit (pregnant wife, two year old and four year old walking, and the one year old in a jogging stroller—let's just say that we didn't go very far...or very fast). We had a mid-morning snack in the woods and we enjoyed being together. The highlight of the trip was when Joe took Joseph and William out in a canoe. Will was petrified at first and cried frantically that he wanted to “go back to Mama” (who stayed safely on shore with David). Joe talked him through it though and later he couldn't even remember crying about being in the boat.

Sunday Hymn

All Glory, Laud, and Honor
by Theodulph of Orleans

All glory, laud and honor,
To Thee, Redeemer, King,
To Whom the lips of children
Made sweet hosannas ring.

Thou art the King of Israel,
Thou David’s royal Son,
Who in the Lord’s Name comest,
The King and Blessèd One.

Refrain

The company of angels
Are praising Thee on High,
And mortal men and all things
Created make reply.

Refrain

The people of the Hebrews
With palms before Thee went;
Our prayer and praise and anthems
Before Thee we present.

Refrain

To Thee, before Thy passion,
They sang their hymns of praise;
To Thee, now high exalted,
Our melody we raise.

Refrain

Thou didst accept their praises;
Accept the prayers we bring,
Who in all good delightest,
Thou good and gracious King.

Refrain

Gardening!!!

I have been inspired by some great meal pictures that I have seen online recently. Maggie posts daily pictures of her daughter's lunch and it looks so yummy! And, of course, you had pictures, dinner on a budget, and even recipes in the Iron Chef Mom Challenge that Meredith and Amy hosted. Lastly, there is Tammy's whole site! I have tried several of her recipes (Spinach Manicotti, Challah, Herb Bread, and Cinnamon Granola) and they have all been delicious.

So, tonight I give you our dinner, the best part of which was the salad made of arugula and red and green romaine from OUR GARDEN! (The chicken was from a sticky chicken recipe that calls for cooking the chicken at 250 degrees for 5 hours and produces a rotisserie style chicken. It was the first time that I tried it and it was very good.) Scan down to the bottom of the page for the recipe.

We worked very hard outside all day and one of the last things that I did was thin out the salad vegetables, which produced salad for tonight's supper and tomorrow's lunch. I can not even explain how ridiculously excited I am about our garden. It is like Christmas for me, only better (no shopping or traveling). I plant these little seeds and then get to watch as they grow and eventually they might even feed us!

Today, Joe hoed the entire garden into plantable rows (he had already tilled it), while I mowed the lawn. (I make a pretty comical picture with my 7 months pregnant self squeezed on to a riding lawn mower. And we'll not even mention the feat of getting on and off the mower without needing either a large shoehorn or small bulldozer to wedge me in.) We planted the roma beans and squash and the first planting of corn. We also transplanted my tomatoes from the starter trays into the garden. We still have one row left (not counting the space we're saving for future corn plantings), and I want to plant lima beans or peas. Joe is rooting for peanuts, cotton, or tobacco. :) We'll see who wins that one.

Now I realize that for you garden experts out there, this sounds quite commonplace. Not so for this city girl! This is our first big garden (we've had patches of garden before, but nothing like this) and I am just thrilled. We had a good steady rain throughout dinner time and so everything is nicely watered in.

The past few days, I have been doing some math and making some phone calls to determine if we should try to refinance our mortgage. Our main financial goal right now is to pay off this house and if we keep up our current pace we should do so in 2-4 years. I have been trying to see if there is a low enough rate available out there to make it even faster after factoring in closing costs. This afternoon, I spoke to John Lavender at Churchill Mortgage—the company that Dave Ramsey recommends so highly. After determining that rates aren't really low enough to help us right now (i.e. we already have a pretty good mortgage), John encouraged me to not get so focused on the mortgage that we skip family vacation. I laughed and told him that family vacation this summer was the addition of baby number 4 to our family!

After hanging up as I thought more about what he was saying, I dismissed it at first as merely a mortgage “salesman” trying to not make me be so down on mortgages because they pay his salary. (Which I do believe is partly true.) But then I considered if Joe and I are somehow missing something by being so frugal and doing things like skipping vacations (and cable TV, call waiting, caller ID, dinners out, new cars, nice furniture, nice clothes...and in general having more disposable income.) Are we silly for living very simply and piling money onto our mortgage to get rid of it? It all came down to this: Is our family missing out because we aren't going on a vacation this year or really any year in the near future except for visiting family?

I remembered something that my sister Laura says, “Vacation with small children is not vacation, it is simply relocation.” So true! I have greatly altered my expectations for our 4 days at the beach with Joe's mom as we've added more children to the trip each year. It is a lot of work to pack for a family of 5, drive 8 hours to the beach, and try to live under one small roof with extended family—even if it is “vacation!” The boys still need a mama and a daddy and the added audience and drama of extended family make it...well...let's just say...not very relaxing! :)

This same “relocation” issue would apply if it was just our little family too. We'd still have the packing, traveling, and work of daily life—even if we were somewhere else. So, after all of these ponderings, I've decided that we aren't missing out. Vacations are hard work and the Holland family is not deprived by foregoing them. We'd enjoy being together, but the boys are just as happy (if not more so) to camp in the back woods with their Daddy as they would be at a cottage by a lake. And with backyard camping, the pregnant mama can enjoy the comfort of her own bed, AND avoid packing!

And as for the other things that we are “missing,” perhaps there will be a season later in life when God will provide some of them. In the meantime, we are learning frugality and paying off the mortgage! Sorry John!

Free furniture!

We actually have a craigslist for Northern Mississippi that I check from time to time and about a week ago, I spotted an ad for a dresser, night stand, and headboard for $50. It sounded nice and we need another dresser as the boys already fill theirs and soon David's clothes will have to be stored in the boys' room too. The furniture was in Starkville though (which is about 45 minutes from here) and we just couldn't work out a time to get it. The boys were all sick and we didn't need the extra stress of a road trip.

Imagine my surprise when I saw yesterday that the set was now listed for free! Well, that was just too good to pass up and so Joe drove last night and got the furniture. He had one of his favorite kids from the Jackson youth group (who goes to State in Starkville) meet him there and help him carry the heavy pieces and afterwards they got a chance to catch up. He got home late last night and so I didn't get a clear look at everything until this morning.

I really like it! It is old (the college-aged girl said it was her grandmother's furniture) and the finish is worn, but the basic structure is beautiful. And I love the old fashioned pulls. I am going to ask my dad what to do to fix the finish the best way because I think with a little work it could be beautiful. In the meantime, it is old and that is fine too.

I am so thankful for the provision of free, pretty furniture.

Here it the dresser (in my living rooom--we haven't put it away yet)

And an up close shot of one of the pulls--isn't that pretty?

Sunday Hymn

Jesus, with Thy Church Abide
words by Thomas B. Polluck

--We sang this hymn in our service last night to the RUF tune. It is a prayer for the church and serves also as a reminder of what we as the local church should be striving for. In each verse there is a new request for the church:

1.) that Christ would be her Lord,
2.) that she would speak the Gospel and warn of the judgment to come,
3.)that she would have right doctrine,
4.) that she would avoid strife and have peace,
5.) that she would be one,
6.) that she would serve those in need,
7.) that ministers of the gospel would feed the flock,
8.) that God would be gracious in seeing her sin,
9.) that her zeal would be restored,
10.) that she would commit again to her calling to preach to the nations,
11.) that the Gospel would go forth in all nations,
12.) that sin would be beaten as the Gospel goes forth to the nations, and lastly
13.) that she would be spotless and pure, perfected for her Bridegroom, Christ.

What a timeless reminder!


Jesus, with Thy Church abide,
Be her Savior, Lord, and Guide,
While on earth her faith is tried:
We beseech Thee, hear us.

May her voice be ever clear,
Warning of a judgment near,
Telling of a Savior dear:
We beseech Thee, hear us.

Keep her life and doctrine pure,
Help her, patient, to endure,
Trusting in Thy promise sure:
We beseech Thee, hear us.

All her fettered powers release
Bid our strife and envy cease,
Grant the heav’nly gift of peace:
We beseech Thee, hear us.

May she one in doctrine be,
One in truth and charity,
Winning all to faith in Thee:
We beseech Thee, hear us.

May she guide the poor and blind,
Seek the lost until she find,
And the broken hearted bind:
We beseech Thee, hear us.

May her priests Thy people feed,
Shepherds of the flock indeed,
Ready, where Thou call’st, to lead:
We beseech Thee, hear us.

Judge her not for work undone,
Judge her not for fields unwon,
Bless her works in Thee begun:
We beseech Thee, hear us.

All that she has lost, restore,
May her strength and zeal be more
Than in brightest days of yore:
We beseech Thee, hear us.

Raise her to her calling high,
Let the nations far and nigh
Hear Thy heralds’ warning cry:
We beseech Thee, hear us.

May her lamp of truth be bright,
Bid hear bear aloft its light
Through the realms of heathen night:
We beseech Thee, hear us.

May she holy triumphs win,
Overthrow the hosts of sin,
Gather all the nations in,
We beseech Thee, hear us.

May she thus all glorious be,
Spotless and from wrinkle free,
Pure and bright, and worthy Thee:
We beseech Thee, hear us.

Spring sickness

Well, I have been stuck at home for just over a week now keeping the germs of my three little ones from spreading far and wide. Joseph is on the mend as he got an antibiotic last Friday for his ear infection, and his cough seems to be dissipating too. William still had a nasty cough, but hasn't run a fever in a few days. He still has a busted front lip and scratches on his face from falling face first off of his bike yesterday. Poor David is the worst. We went back to the dr. for him again today and after 2 and 1/2 hours(!) of waiting and 10 minutes with the dr., we left with a diagnosis of double ear infections and some unidentifiable stomach bug. As for the long wait, I got to be that mom in the waiting room holding the screaming toddler while everyone else looks on. I had brought snacks, toys, books, and even our portable DVD player, but none of it worked on David after that first hour.

ANYWAY, that is my life right now. Sick boys and learning patience and peace in the middle of long days and fussy sick children. God is giving me rest in Him in these days and I am thankful for the discipline of hard times. I have been convicted that my Sovereign Lord has ordained each inconvenience and hindrance as part of His plan for my good and His glory. This has been fresh and real to me as I have served my little ones in these days of illness.

Let me challenge you to remember that anything that happens to you comes from His hand. Some of you have already learned this in bigger and harder ways, but we can always use a reminder, can't we? I have faced the petty difficulties of this past week with a busy husband and 3 sick children (and being almost 7 months preggers too :) ) with such a different perspective since being convicted of the realness of what believing in a sovereign God means. However, I'd better stop waxing eloquent about it now lest my tongue get ahead of my heart. I haven't learned the lesson completely (as I still react so often with anger or fighting for my "rights"), but I have a Gracious Teacher.

Sunday Hymn

O for a thousand tongues by Charles Wesley O for a thousand tongues to sing
My great Redeemer’s praise,
The glories of my God and King,
The triumphs of His grace!

My gracious Master and my God,
Assist me to proclaim,
To spread through all the earth abroad
The honors of Thy name.

Jesus! the name that charms our fears,
That bids our sorrows cease;
’Tis music in the sinner’s ears,
’Tis life, and health, and peace.

He breaks the power of canceled sin,
He sets the prisoner free;
His blood can make the foulest clean,
His blood availed for me.

He speaks, and, listening to His voice,
New life the dead receive,
The mournful, broken hearts rejoice,
The humble poor believe.

Hear Him, ye deaf; His praise, ye dumb,
Your loosened tongues employ;
Ye blind, behold your Savior come,
And leap, ye lame, for joy.

In Christ your Head, you then shall know,
Shall feel your sins forgiven;
Anticipate your heaven below,
And own that love is heaven.

Glory to God, and praise and love
Be ever, ever given,
By saints below and saints above,
The church in earth and heaven.

On this glad day the glorious Sun
Of Righteousness arose;
On my benighted soul He shone
And filled it with repose.

Sudden expired the legal strife,
’Twas then I ceased to grieve;
My second, real, living life
I then began to live.

Then with my heart I first believed,
Believed with faith divine,
Power with the Holy Ghost received
To call the Savior mine.

I felt my Lord’s atoning blood
Close to my soul applied;
Me, me He loved, the Son of God,
For me, for me He died!

I found and owned His promise true,
Ascertained of my part,
My pardon passed in heaven I knew
When written on my heart.

Look unto Him, ye nations, own
Your God, ye fallen race;
Look, and be saved through faith alone,
Be justified by grace.

See all your sins on Jesus laid:
The Lamb of God was slain,
His soul was once an offering made
For every soul of man.

Awake from guilty nature’s sleep,
And Christ shall give you light,
Cast all your sins into the deep,
And wash the Æthiop white.

Harlots and publicans and thieves
In holy triumph join!
Saved is the sinner that believes
From crimes as great as mine.

Murderers and all ye hellish crew
In holy triumph join!
Believe the Savior died for you;
For me the Savior died.

With me, your chief, ye then shall know,
Shall feel your sins forgiven;
Anticipate your heaven below,
And own that love is heaven.

Referral

I just had to post a quick link to Holly's blog tonight and an excellent piece she wrote today entitled "Communion Admist Chaos." I have been re-reading a book that I got just after I had Joseph-- Tender Mercy for a Mother's Soul, and have found that I disagree with the author. The thesis of the book is that women need to make space in their busy lives for time with Christ by slipping away from family duties and that we also should be pursuing outside "passions." I remember questioning this advice even as a very new mom, but now I see it even more clearly. While I am still encouraged by her drive to seek intimacy with Christ, I think her methods are too me-focused.

Which brings me to why I love Holly's post. Holly captures the need to commune with the Lord in the midst of daily life, not by shutting it out or resenting it. Her words are exactly what I need to hear and remind me to rejoice in the busyness of this season of life because it was ordained by God.

More Love ot Thee, O Christ

More Love to Thee, O Christ
by Elizabeth Prentiss

More love to Thee, O Christ, more love to Thee!
Hear Thou the prayer I make on bended knee.
This is my earnest plea: More love, O Christ, to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!

Once earthly joy I craved, sought peace and rest;
Now Thee alone I seek, give what is best.
This all my prayer shall be: More love, O Christ to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!

Let sorrow do its work, come grief or pain;
Sweet are Thy messengers, sweet their refrain,
When they can sing with me: More love, O Christ, to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!

Then shall my latest breath whisper Thy praise;
This be the parting cry my heart shall raise;
This still its prayer shall be: More love, O Christ to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!

Joyfully Naked

I have a question that I need some other mama opinions on. I only have the experience of my 3 little men, and I need the input of some of you girl mamas. Do girls like being naked too? My boys LOVE being naked and something about nakedness calls for wild romps around the house and running and giggling as fast as you can. There is a giddiness and joy that they get from being naked that is so uninhibited.

I was thinking about this before baths the other night and wondered if it was a guy thing. I am not excessively shy. Though I must admit to being a bit taken aback by those that parade around gym locker rooms naked for lengthy periods of time, I don't mind the normal changing-clothes-nakedness in locker rooms.

And I don't ever remember feeling joyously naked. Perhaps I did as a young child and have just forgotten that phase of life. But I definitely had some male friends in college that did feel joyously naked. There was one house of otherwise normal guys who were known for lounging around or even running around Grounds naked. Other friends streaked the Lawn (a university tradition and right of passage), but the odds of doing so were definitely higher for guys.

So, thus my query, is it a guy thing?

Where is it going to go?

I have reached a notable phase in this pregnancy--one that I remember from my first three pregnancies too. I am to the point where I feel sufficiently big enough and can't imagine where the next 4 months of growth is going to go. I am 25 weeks pregnant and am measuring 2 weeks ahead right now, which is normal for me due to fact that I carry my babies all in front.
I know that I have 15 weeks ahead of me to grow, grow, grow. I just can't figure out how I could possibly get any bigger!

All is well

I had a check-up yesterday with my midwife and everything is moving along nicely with the pregnancy. She is always so reassuring and encouraging, very personable and I'm glad that I get to have her for this pregnancy. I took Joseph with me on the long trip and he did very well in the car. He colored, ate, and played with balloons.

After the appointment, we stopped by a farm in Bay Springs and bought some real milk--straight from the cow that morning! The taste was too strong for me, but Will and David both like it. Joseph will drink it mixed with a little store bought milk. It is so good for them--no hormones, lots of natural enzymes--I wish that there was a way that I could give them raw milk all of the time. I have joked about wanting a cow, but are not ready for one right now....maybe in a few years.

Date night

After a long blog hiatus, I am back. We've had some pastoral issues in the church that have kept our family very busy recently and I feel like I haven't had time to even process my life, much less reflect on it enough to write about it. The issue is not resolved yet, but is at a pause for now and so I have had a moment to breath.
Tonight, I was in the mood for a nice spicy steak from Outback and went online to see where the closest one was. I was hoping that Starkville would have one since Mississippi State is there--surely a college town would have an Outback, right? Unfortunately, no. We would've had to drive the hour and a half to Jackson to get to Outback, and though I must admit that I considered it, we decided it just wasn't a 3 hour in the car craving.
So instead we went to a little family owned steak house about 20 minutes from here. We got great steaks and they even had a blooming onion! The boys were entranced by the Nascar race that was showing on the two TVs and watched TV while they consumed a huge amount of food. David was great and happy. We even saw a young family from our church. It was a great night and we got candy bars from CVS for dessert on the way home.
I was thinking as we drove home how I will feel so free where ever we move next, because it pretty much will have to be bigger than Kosciusko. Having more restaurant options will be nice and so will having a few more shopping options. But for now, this place fits us and I am so thankful to be here. Even if you have to drive 20 minutes to get to the closest non-fast food restaurant.

Sunday hymn

Words: At­trib­ut­ed to John Cal­vin, 1545 (Je Te Sa­lue Mon Cer­tain Re­demp­teur); trans­lat­ed from French to Eng­lish by Eliz­a­beth L. Smith in Schaff’s Christ in Song, 1869.

I greet Thee, who my sure Redeemer art,
My only trust and Savior of my heart,
Who pain didst undergo for my poor sake;
I pray Thee from our hearts all cares to take.

Thou art the King of mercy and of grace,
Reigning omnipotent in every place;
So come, O King, and our whole being sway;
Shine on us with the light of Thy pure day.

Thou art the life, by which alone we live,
And all our substance and our strength receive;
Sustain us by Thy faith and by Thy power,
And give us strength in every trying hour.

Thou hast the true and perfect gentleness,
No harshness hast Thou and no bitterness;
O grant to us the grace we find in Thee,
That we may dwell in perfect unity.

Our hope is in no other save in Thee;
Our faith is built upon Thy promise free;
Lord, give us peace, and make us calm and sure,
That in Thy strength we evermore endure.

Whate'er my God ordains is right

by Sam­u­el Rod­i­gast, 1676 (Was Gott tut, das ist wohl­ge­tan); trans­lat­ed from Ger­man to Eng­lish by Ca­ther­ine Wink­worth, 1863, and others.

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
His holy will abideth;
I will be still whate’er He doth;
And follow where He guideth;
He is my God; though dark my road,
He holds me that I shall not fall:
Wherefore to Him I leave it all.

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
He never will deceive me;
He leads me by the proper path:
I know He will not leave me.
I take, content, what He hath sent;
His hand can turn my griefs away,
And patiently I wait His day.

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
His loving thought attends me;
No poison can be in the cup
That my Physician sends me.
My God is true; each morn anew
I’ll trust His grace unending,
My life to Him commending.

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
He is my Friend and Father;
He suffers naught to do me harm,
Though many storms may gather,
Now I may know both joy and woe,
Some day I shall see clearly
That He hath loved me dearly.

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
Though now this cup, in drinking,
May bitter seem to my faint heart,
I take it, all unshrinking.
My God is true; each morn anew
Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart,
And pain and sorrow shall depart.

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
Here shall my stand be taken;
Though sorrow, need, or death be mine,
Yet I am not forsaken.
My Father’s care is round me there;
He holds me that I shall not fall:
And so to Him I leave it all.

Words for Mamas

For this Saturday's Words for Mamas, I included simply a link to Holly at Seeking Faithfulness for her post that is just perfect for mamas of little ones.

Rainy Saturday

I talked to my mom last night and she was concerned that something must be wrong since I hadn't been blogging this week. I told her that I couldn't remember what I had been doing instead. After we hung up, I remembered. I have read 2 of Elizabeth Prentiss's lesser know books--The Home at Greylock (on raising children) and Aunt Jane's Hero (on marriage). Neither is as good as her classic (and my favorite book of all time) Stepping Heavenward, but they are still great books and I would commend them to you.