Letting go

I only got a little teary as we pulled away from the drop off line. While he could see me, I was all smiles and confidence.

"I wonder what you will learn today?"

"You are going to meet so many new friends!"

"I really like your teacher. She is nice."

My little man. Venturing into the world without me by his side.

My mind races back. Is this really the baby that I birthed at home so quickly and so quietly? He seems so very mine that I can't imagine sharing him. So much a part of me.

There is a part of me that wants to hold on. To enclose him. To protect. To shelter.

And yet to do so would be to forget my whole purpose.

I shelter in order to release. I hold tight in order to let go. I protect to allow him to grow strong. I mother in order to send out.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the sons of one’s youth. Psalm 127:4

Arrows to be shot out. Sent out. Launched.

My prayer for my boys is that they will be men who passionately love Jesus and work to see his kingdom come. Strong men. Bold men. Men with vision and and wisdom. What a gift to get to help launch them!

All is well here.

We are counting down the days until Joe finishes his time serving FPC Kosciusko and can fully focus on church planting.

Spring is here in full force. We are enjoying a few strawberries from the garden. We had a pair of wrens nest in our workroom and have been able to watch the babies hatch, grow, and finally leave the nest. We are loving this house even more as we realize that we are leaving.

Winter days

Rainy winter day

We are back into the normal schedule today as a trial run before a whole week of normal starting Monday. We certainly did enjoy having Joe home more, even though he didn't really get a vacation. He worked tirelessly on Culpeper things and has really made some progress. I am so thankful to have such a hard working husband! We are just under 50 percent for our support raising so far and are going to Virginia next Friday for a week and a half of visiting churches and meeting people.

I have to also rave about something. I have had the same pair of jeans for several (who knows how many!) years now and they are old! And need replacing badly! About 2 months ago, I went from store to store in Jackson and tried on every pair of jeans I could find but to no avail. It seems that all of the jeans in the stores were just too low waisted. I have a long torso and so low jeans are REALLY low on me. To tell you how desperate I had gotten, I even considered buying some "mom jeans."

But I didn't have to! When we were at Gap earlier this week, I tried on their Essentials style jeans and they worked! They are cut high enough on the waist and still look cute. YAY!

Christmas Day

In reverse order because that is how blogger loaded them and I am not fixing it!



Ready for bed after a long day.
















Looking at the gingerbread house!
















He didn't like the bubbles in the bubble bath.

Field trip to the pumpkin patch

Joseph--"This is the most fun place that I have ever been."






Horses, goats, sheep, llamas, ducks, bouncy inflatables, pumpkins, a picnic, a 6 foot iguana, and getting to chase and catch a pig....what is not to like?!

David

Was just under the 25th percentile for weight and just over the 25th percentile for height! The dr. was so pleased with his progress that he said we don't need to bring him back! Praise the Lord for such a clear answer to prayer!

Update pictures

I don't know why I haven't been blogging much recently. There has been a lot going on though.

The boys and I have ventured into homeschooling and are surviving so far. We are using the Phonics Museum by Veritas Press, Saxon 1, and supplementing with extra books. The boys are learning a lot and are proud of themselves. They are also realizing that school is not always fun--that it is just hard work some days. But that is a good lesson too. :)These are some of our sweet friends from church who come over for lunch on Fridays.

Joseph and Will are on a soccer team this fall and we are all really enjoying it. They lost their first game Tuesday and will play again tomorrow.

Charlie is growing by leaps and bounds and is already starting to loose some of that cute "newly walking" baby toddle that I love.
David goes back to the pediatric endocrinologist in October. I have been stuffing him full of food, but he is still SO skinny.

Joe and I are going to two church planter assessments in November to help us discern God's calling in our lives. It is very exciting, but also stressful and unsettling.Joe is getting over shingles. He told me today for the first time that the pain was starting to lessen a bit.

We got a super new-to-us camera that is so cool and fancy. It takes fabulous pics, but they are hard to upload!

Fun messes

Joe was out tonight and so the boys and I had fun trying a concoction from my friend Mary. Mary was one of my first and dearest friends in Jackson, and she has had a huge influence on my mothering. Our firstborns are a few months apart and I got to watch her face things with Samuel as I faced them with Joseph.

Anyway, she posted a recipe for "Goopy Goo" on her blog and raved that it held her kids attention for some good fun times. I can second her approval of the stuff. If you have ever seen Gak, it is very much like that. And since it is made with a little Borax, I like to think that the little pieces that were flung under my kitchen table and all over the kitchen floor (that I will be picking up for the next week) are cleaning as they sit there. :)

Adventures in elderberries

About a month ago, someone pointed out 2 large bushes in my side yard as elderberries. I had thought they were a weed and was surprised to hear her tell me that elderberries make a delicious dark jelly. And by doing a little research online I found out that elderberries are very good for you--high in antioxidants and clinically proven to prevent and treat colds and the flu. I also found a website with very detailed instructions and pictures to tell me what to do--just what I needed.

The berries were ripe and weighing down the boughs when I ventured out to pick them on Saturday. Picking elderberries is easy. You simple snip the head of berries from the branch. Getting the berries off of the stems, however, is another matter. Joe and I sat on the back porch for hours on Saturday pulling the berries off. When we finished we had a huge pot of berries, which when cooked down and strained made 28 cups of juice.

We made both elderberry jelly and elderberry syrup and were up until 11 canning. But it all turned out so well! The cans all sealed and the jelly and syrup are strong, but good. The robust flavor complements the strong flavors of the whole wheat pancakes, breads, and waffles and the natural peanut butter that we eat.

All in all, a very successful project. And as I told my mom, that is pretty rare. Usually when I try something new, it flops and I have to learn and readjust several times before it turns out.

Vacation treats

In answer to the comment a few posts below about what fun things I came up with for the road, I'll mention some of what I did. It wasn't anything fancy (like everything in my life), but it helped add some spark to a LONG vacation.

In the weeks before the vacation, I kept my eyes peeled for small fun treats for the boys. Always on a budget, they had to be cheap or free and non-messy since they were mainly for car entertainment. I also raided the gift closet for a few of these things. At different times on the road (i.e. whenever chaos was taking over the minivan), I would pull something out and present a new "vacation surprise."

• cheap, but brand new sunglasses
• a new set of washable markers for each boy
• Lifesavers
• gum
• a small individual box of raisins (from my mom's) We always buy the huge family size canister of raisins, so individual boxes were great fun
  
• sticker books
• other snacks that we wouldn't normally eat at home
• coloring books
• shower caps (from the hotel--they wore these most of the way home) you never know what kids are going to like!!! :)
• starlight mints (also from the hotel)
  
• Skittles

We also had a big bag of library books that they shared and we did (sorry anonymous commenter) actually have a portable DVD player. I sewed a case for it that enabled us to attach it to the back of my seat. They watched 1 movie each day we were on the road and for kids that rarely watch movies, it was a special treat.

We also brought some books on tape on Joe's Ipod that we listened to on the way to Virginia. We had the complete works of Beatrix Potter and got through at least half of them. That kept us entertained for a good hour or so. We got them from Librovox, which is an open source online library of voice recordings of various books. They have a pretty good children's section.

We also had lots of podcasts--some from Boundless and some from Dave Ramsey--both are available on iTunes.

I still remember a cross country car trip with my mom and grandmother from when I was a child. They had a brown paper bag with treats in it and we got to unwrap one each hour (if I remember correctly). The treats were things like scissors, paper, and crayons, but I loved that trip.

For our vacation next year I am going to have to do a little better and prepare a few more surprises. This year's was kind of thrown together, but the boys loved it. It helped make the vacation fun for them.

On the road again....

We leave this morning for a glorious 11 days of vacation! Joe came home last night after a LONG day (long week, long summer, long year!) and was "free!" I am so excited to have him to myself for the next 11 days! Though after packing everything yesterday, I told Joe that I need a vacation from our vacation.

Last year's vacation was learning to trust God in the moment...to see His good and sovereign plan for us NOW (not tomorrow, or next month, or in those future set of circumstances) but here and now. It was seeing His goodness and sanctification presently.

Joe has already started talking about how focusing on Christ's sacrifice on the cross frees us to love and serve and rejoice. I look forward to thinking on that especially on this vacation.

We are going to Virginia to see my family by way of Atlanta to meet my newest precious niece. We're driving (hurray for gas prices) :( but the boys are good traveling ages and I have lots of fun planned for the road.

Pray for us, if you think of it. Pray that our time would be sweet. That we would be drawn more to the Savior who frees us to live lives of service, praise, and love. Pray that we would have refreshing time as a family and with extended family too.

I'll see you in a few weeks!

• Joe telling me at breakfast that he knows that I am cooking the same things, but that they just taste better in the country, “like at Hanshill.”
• Still scrubbing soap scum and hard water stains every time I take a shower and still seeing no difference. BTW, if anyone has tips let me know.

This past weekend my MIL Beth came for a visit and we had a good time with her. The boys, of course, loved seeing Meemaw, and it was nice to have the extra help with them while we are still trying to get settled. The last of the boxes are out of the house now, but all that means is that stuff is now lying around the house rather than being stacked up in boxes. I have many pictures still to hang and much to organize. I’ve decided that I am of the “just get it unpacked” school of moving rather than the “get it all put in the right place” school.

We also had our first Sunday at church and I managed to convince Joe to just go to worship rather than worship and Sunday school. As it was we were inundated with new people to meet and I was overwhelmed. Everyone was very nice though and the younger boys did fine in the new nurseries. It was actually the first time that David had been in a church nursery; for the last 7 months, he has sat/slept with us in service. So it was quite a transition.

After dinner romp in the front yard

Do you ever have those moments where you look around at your life and praise God? Where you see the blessings He has graciously given and just revel in the joy of it all?

Last night was one of those times for me. We ran around in our front yard and played with the boys as the sun set in golden splendor and a gentle breeze rustled leaves and tousled the hair of my precious children. There was much laughter and running, and it was GOOD.

There was also selfishness, grabbing, hitting, discipline, and a short temper or two. That is just life. Many times I get so busy with the mess of life that I miss the joy of life.

God is good. He has blessed me abundantly. With salvation in Christ first, and also with my dear family and much more.

Thank you, Lord, for loving me and reconciling me to yourself in Jesus. And thank you for my strong and hard working husband. Thank you for these sweet boys. Teach me to praise you in the good times and to store up some of the joy for the darker days.

You know you are married to a pastor....

....when you apply theology to everything.

Joe: "I think that Oreos must have been invented by the devil because they are so tempting."
Me: "Nope. They were given by God because they are so good!"

Us

Life is our own version of normal right now. Lots of noise, mud, anoles (small green lizards), growing things, gardening, playing, singing, riding, and did I mention mud?

We're rolling along just fine and everyone is growing so quickly. Here is a picture I took last weekend. If you are a member of facebook, you can see more through Joe's profile here.

Where I have been

Don't worry, I haven't lost my interest in blogging already, it has just been a busy week. Joe explained our week in a post today on his blog.

Weekend update

We have enjoyed a happy 2 days here with Joe back in town after 4 days away at the Together for the Gospel Conference. The boys and I had a busy time being "apart for the gospel" here at home.

Today, we replanted some tomatoes in the garden as the first batch all died a week ago during a late frost.

Lots of stain remover and a well-needed shower

As you might have noticed, I am trying to revive my blog these days. Just outside the office window, the three older boys are digging holes in the yard...making dirt roads and castles and driving their assortment of cars and construction equipment around on them. It is one of those times when I know that they are doing what little boys should--playing in the mud in their backyard! There is also much opportunity to deal with sin and the Gospel ("Give me back my truck!") as I seek to teach them to love one another. Behavior modification techniques might manipulate a child to lessen undesirable behaviors, but they will not show him his need for a Savior.

I am reminded this morning that my job in mothering these boys is not simply to make them well-behaved (although it is my prayer that they would also be so), but that I primarily want to disciple them rightly in their understanding of sin so that they would rest on Jesus as their only hope. And that is a lesson for me too. That as I see MY short temper in dealing with them or see my inability to respond kindly, I would fly to the cross and say, "Here is my hope! Here is my sufficiency! Lord, make me more like Christ!"

Sunday

We are in the middle of some hard pastoral things here and it is a constant struggle and issue for prayer for us. We are both feeling the weight of it and want to speak truth and love.
The boys are doing well and enjoying the spring, watching the plants come back to life again and playing outside for hours on end. We've started some of our garden and look 3 and 4 times a day to see if seeds have sprouted or plants had grown taller. We've "harvested" a literal handful of broccoli and hope that isn't the totality of our crop. As I have said before, I am not a very good gardener!